Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I love gooooooold!

OK people, emergency blog post.

Years ago I ate a bunch of candy and soda. 
Months ago I got a root canal. 
Two weeks ago I got prepped for the crown, and got a temporary crown. The dentist has to take an impression of your teeth and send the impression off to get a perfect / custom crown made.

Well, when my dentist was asking me what kind of a crown I wanted, I was like, "uh, what are my options?"

Stay with me.

The below is a paraphrase. While I have spent lots and lots of time in a dentist's office, I am not a dentist. Internet blogs are not an adequate substitute for medical attention. Offer valid only while supplies last.

Dentist: "Your two options are gold and porcelain. Porcelain will be white, so nobody will notice the filling, but they eventually break and need to be replaced."

Me: "Oh man, that doesn't sound like any fun."

Dentist: "It's not. Gold crowns last forever and never need to be replaced. The two are the same price."

Me: "Well shit, the only person that ever gets close enough to me to see my teeth is my wife, and she doesn't care what's in there --- I'll go with gold."

Done deal.

I figure that "gold" is a colloquialism for metal / alloy, you know, just a regular grey filling. I have some other fillings that I thought were referred to as "gold" and they're a drab grey, pretty unremarkable, unnoticeable.

Fast forward two weeks.

Today I go in to get the permanent crown delivered. The dentist has the thing in his hand, polishing it, before it gets "installed" in my head, and I said "hey, can I take a look at the crown?" --- just curious about what a crown looks like before it's cemented to a tooth forever.

Oh - my - god.

Not unremarkable, unnoticeable grey. Not drab. Not subtle.

The thing is GUH-HOLD.

Like, REALLY gold. Stun-tastic gold. Three 6 Mafia gold.

So I am sitting there, looking at the crown, and I can't say anything, because the thing was custom handmade just for me, and it was really expensive, it's kind of a "toothpaste out of the tube" situation --- it can't be undone.

So I just laid back and got the crown installed. I was hearing rap music in my head the whole time, because I know that from this day forward, I am tha mack.

Anyways, your boy Hunter got a seriously gold tooth today at the dentist. Ask to see it next time you see me, I think it's bitchin'.

Shmoke and a pancake,


  1. That shit is crazy! Does this change your halloween costume options?

  2. Awesome post. Post pictures at your first opportunity please.



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