Tuesday, October 13, 2009

On Dogs, Guests, and Remodeling.

My in-laws, their two black labrador retrievers, and my sister-in-law all came to visit us this weekend for my wife's birthday. Having guests, two of which were dogs, was almost exactly like when I used to live in a fraternity house. Let me explain:

Having Guests with Dogs
Living in a Frat House
Can't leave any food unattended or it will be consumed, almost immediately

Have to buy twice the amount of beer you actually want

Can't leave the house for 5 minutes without something being destroyed while you're gone

Waking up in the middle of the night to frantic shuffling and unintelligible moaning

Never any place to sit down even though you live there

See? Anyways, it was a nice visit and it was fun to have dogs in the house so my wife could see what a pain in the ass it is. A lot of people really misunderstand the way I feel about dogs --- see, I love dogs. I like having them around, I think they're great companions and a nice addition to a family. I also think they are a pain in the ass. I don't mean the dog itself (and its behaviour), necessarily, I just mean having a dependent that you can't take everywhere with you. Babies are A-OK --- you need to run to the store? Grab the baby, hit the road, go to the store with the baby on your arm, come on home. It's totally normal and acceptable to take a baby with you to the store (only normal if you have kids).

With a dog, you have to leave it at home. I'm ruling out taking the dog along and leaving it in the car, because I have a nice car and dogs get crazy. Also, the possibility of too hot / too cold thing is just something I ain't dealing with, because, as proved by the comparative response to Michael Vick's dogfighting charges and Donte' Stallworth's manslaughter charges, dogs are apparently more important than people.

Anyways, you have to leave the dog at home. Just leaving without the dog is a challenge, because it will do everything to make sure that you don't leave without it, including sticking their big, dumb head in the door as you shut it. After you leave, your neighbors all shoot you the "you bastard" look because as soon as your truck is out of sight the dog will assume his duty as the neighborhood timekeeper, barking once every second to ensure that no one loses track of the time while you're gone (they won't).

When you get back, the dog will tackle you and knock whatever it was that you brought home from the store out of your hands. Also, bonus: they will have done some complimentary remodeling for you.

Anyways, I was glad that we had the dogs stay with us for a weekend so my wife could see how dog life will be.

Musical interjection: the new John Mayer single "Who Says" is out today. Get it, and set your player to Repeat One. Also new:

Norah Jones: Chasing Pirates - a single that's not going to blow your mind, but nice

Los Lonely Boys: 1969 - a short album of classic rock covers that Amazon is practically giving away for $0.99. If you haven't listened to Los Lonely Boys in a while, click this link and listen now.

Billy Talent: III - I lost a lot of text I had written here, but here's the short redux: they're a revivalist punk band from Canada that is the only band I can think of in recent history that holds the punk roots firmly --- not just pop rock with tight jeans. They are powerful and rowdy, and their guitar player has great tone, punk or otherwise.

Also, yesterday was my wife's birthday, so I took the day off work and stuck with her all day. It was really nice and relaxing and I even did a little scavenger hunt thing for her. We went to a nice restaurant and had a cocktail and appetizers (Wild Mushroom Crepe + awesome salad with blackberry vinaigrette) then headed home to make dinner together, which turned into "F dinner, let's eat Key Lime pie." Awesome day.

Yesterday was also my dad's birthday, so we talked to him for a while, and I realized I need to find something for the old man before he and my mom come to visit us, with their dog, this weekend.

Yeah, seriously.


No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts with Thumbnails